Forget about it. Forget everything you’ve thought. Forget everything you think you’d know, interpreted. understood, rationalized, broken down, built up, dramatized, ruminated over, mused upon, it’s all complete bollocks behind it all. I am a composite of a residual angst and burning abandonment that was seeded in my adolescence. My family broke apart. My Mum got sick, my Father was glib and in bars. My sister came out as gay. My younger brother suffered from acute anxiety disorder. We are all a composite of deep residual angst and abandonment. When such importance is placed on the family nucleus and it dissolves, what’s left? Abandoned animals, naked, marooned, isolated, alone. My entire perception of life fractured. Everything I was sold by fairytale was banished, notions of good versus evil, happy versus sad slowly swelled into a psyche piloted by a feckless ambivalence. I know that everything is transitory now. Nothing good lasts but by the same token, nothing bad lasts either. It’s about surfing each wave with clear eyed fearlessness and acceptance. Sure, you might get wiped out at times, overwhelmed, bummed out, pissed off but know that the next gnarly swell is bubbling away on the horizon and it’s gonna lift you back up to the Sun’s far out flow and your shoulders and spine will feel the warmth of the solar rays and you’ll see out beyond the spit and shit that sometimes feels unconquerable and you’ll see far out prairies man with herbaceous borders and hills beyond hills all hued in gold and bronze and each furrow hemmed with God’s fingers and you’ll breathe without that tightness in your pectoral muscles and you’ll forget to analyse each and every synaptic thought. You’ll remember how it was before all of that toxic resin deposited its viscuous tar across your spirit. You’ll remember and it will be fucking gorgeous.

Posted in Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s